1 Only Reason

Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
1
This is more of a review rant than anything else but i feel i have some things i can't stop myself from commenting on.

There is a golden rule to story telling, i cant remember who said it (some russian i think), but it goes something like this: "if there is a rifle on a table in the first chapter, it has to be fired by the second or third, or it shouldn't have been there on the table in the first place"

Although the premiss of an asexual succubus promptly being thrown down to earth for being asexual is pretty funny, i'm left wondering why the MC hasn't just killed herself already, its all so miserable and terrible yet she keeps on keeping on for no reason at all, give her some meaning, give her a goal, give her a reason to progress and grow as a person until the day she might be able to face her family again. That would make for something interesting to read. Make a point, stories are not something for just about anyone to just tinker with and then throw out there for anyone to see. Stories are powerful tools used for telling about things YOU want to tell about.

So stop taking the story (or yourself for that matter) so seriously, give the characters some motivation and an arc to follow (think of the rifle on the table) and don't add any more of them than is needed, for god's sake.

And also the art is really rough at best, but i'm very impressed by the amount being drawn. I can tell there is considerable work being put in. If you, the person drawing all this is stubborn enough to do all that has already been done without loosing confidence, there shouldn't be anything stopping you from improving, so long you actually try to improve.
 
Fed-Kun's army
Joined
Jul 16, 2019
Messages
49
I don't know why this is getting such low ratings. It's pure mood, and the rough art actually gives it a very distinctive look without sacrificing the expressiveness of the characters — there's never a doubt whether a character is being playful, is depressed, is feeling ambiguous about something, etc. The pacing is a bit rough, but I appreciate the black humour. Don't compare this to polished works coming from big Japanese publishers, just enjoy this as its own thing. As an honest "slice of life" story, I think it has a lot going for it.
 
Active member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
74
I like it. Some parts are unstranslated and sometimes a girl is suddenly a boy or a girl which is weird, but the story is interesting enough and the humor is great. That fucking dogjin is pure gold.
 
Active member
Joined
Apr 26, 2020
Messages
1,080
The art isnt that good compared to other manga but it also isnt horrible
The story isnt super good either but this is also clearly not some "i practiced from the age of 2" top tier artist and writer but its a person with a story to tell and the courage to tell it despite not being that good at it
I respect this guy for trying instead of hating your own art for being bad then not practicing thus staying bad
Just like me
And likely some more people that read this
 
Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2018
Messages
597
This is not so bad - it's just that the art sucks. Story itself would be quite a good slice of life!
 
Fed-Kun's army
Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
141
did something controversial happen? Why so many 1s? I only just started this but it doesn't seem bad enough to warrant that level of hate.
 
Joined
Jun 25, 2023
Messages
1
This was very raw and heartfelt. I loved it.

I binge read it, so I enjoyed watching the artist's evolution.

Bravo!
 

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